My Evensong
  • Home
  • Resume
    • Letter of Reference #1
    • Letter of Reference #2
    • Letter of Reference #3
    • Letter of Reference #4
  • Eternal Life
  • Essays
    • INTRO to Romans >
      • Romans 1.1-7 Grace & Peace
      • To Rome With Love
      • Not Ashamed of the Gospel
      • A Two-sided Coin
      • The Patience, Judgment and Praise of God
      • Center of All Things
    • Romans 8 >
      • No Condemnation in Christ
      • Our Present Suffering
      • The Groaning and Glory
      • The Spirit's Intercession
      • The Golden Chain
      • Salvation’s Eternal Gobstobber
    • Paul's Application of Justification by Faith >
      • Total Makeover - Romans 12.1-2
      • What About Me? - Romans 12.3-8
      • Authority & Submission - Romans 13.1-7
      • True Love - Romans 12.9-21
      • Love's Demands Romans 13.8-14
      • Unity: Not Judgmental - Romans 14.1-14
      • Unity in Hope - Romans 15.1-13
      • Travel Plans - Romans 15.14-29
      • An appeal for Prayer - Romans 15.30-33
      • Final Greetings - Romans 16.1-14
      • A Last Word About Last Words - Romans 16.25-27
      • Another Word About Last Words - Romans 16.25-27
    • Christ Formed in You >
      • Labor Pains
      • Marks of a Disciple
    • Jesus Post Resurrection Narratives >
      • Words From the Cross
      • The Resurrection
      • The Ascension of Christ
      • The Exaltation of Christ
      • The Session of Christ
      • The Reign of Christ
      • Jesus as High Priest
      • Jesus as Judge
    • Second Thoughts >
      • After Christmas
      • Thoughts on the Covenant
      • Infant Baptism
      • Job and a Dangerous God
      • The Ultimate Question
      • Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing
      • God's Eternal Decree & Secondary Causality
      • God's Providence & Evil
      • The Anguish of Child Birth
      • Truth: That Elusive Fellow
      • Spilled Water
      • Stretch Out Your Hand
      • A Brief of the Olivet Discourse
    • Thoughts on Isaiah >
      • A Love Song Isaiah 5
      • Firm in Faith: Isaiah 7.1 - 8.8
      • The Salvation of an Incomparable God
      • Two Cities: God's Supremacy
      • Looking Toward the Rising Sun
    • Thoughts on Prayer >
      • The Glory of God in Prayer
      • Disciples' Prayer
      • Prayer & the Righteous Person
      • A Sufficient Grace
      • Providence & Prayer
      • Prayer & the Session of Christ
      • The Struggle of Prayer
      • "Failure" in Prayer
      • The Silence of God
      • Prayer & the Will of God
    • Psalms >
      • Psalm 1 & 2 - Introducing the Psalms
      • Psalm 139 - Wings of the Morning
      • Psalm 90 - A Complaint
      • Psalm 91.1-13: The Wings of Refuge
      • Psalm 91.14-16 - God Speaks: A Salvation Oracle
      • Psalm 91 - God's Salvation
      • Psalm 92 - A Sabbath Psalm of Worship
      • Psalm 100 Steadfast Love
  • Books
    • Apologetics / Evangelism
    • Modernity & Post Modernism
    • Prayer
    • Basic in Christian Theology
    • Eclectic Reading
  • Conversations with Charlie
  • Compline
  • Photos
  • LOL
    • Bible / Theology / Church >
      • Why Can't I Own Canadians?
      • How Hot is Hell?
      • Theologians & Stop Signs
      • Butt Prints in the Sand
      • Bulletin Bloopers
      • Driving the Car & Haircuts
    • Deep Thoughts
    • Moose Hunting
    • Evolution of Math
    • Lexophiles
    • Musical Humor
    • O' The Married Life
    • Humor for Supercilious Condescending Pedagogues
    • Marriage from a Kid’s Point of View
  • Links
    • Carrie Marshall
    • Linda Moore
    • Gary's FCCW Sermon Videos
Theology - Why Can't I Own Canadians?
It is important to learn how to properly handle Scripture (principles of hermeneutics). If you don’t then some really strange things might come your way - as in the following instructional example illustrates (it was lifted from Michael Horton’s White Horse Inn blog).

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18.22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21.7. She is 14 and in good health; in this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Leviticus 15.19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Leviticus 1.9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35.2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Leviticus 11.10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Leviticus 21.20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressily forbidden by Leviticus 19.27. How should they die?

9. I know from Leviticus 11.6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19.19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Leviticus 24.10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20.14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging. 

Your adoring fan,
James M. Kauffman, Ed. D.
Professor Emeritus, Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
(it would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian)