My Evensong
  • Home
  • Resume
    • Letter of Reference #1
    • Letter of Reference #2
    • Letter of Reference #3
    • Letter of Reference #4
  • Eternal Life
  • Essays
    • INTRO to Romans >
      • Romans 1.1-7 Grace & Peace
      • To Rome With Love
      • Not Ashamed of the Gospel
      • A Two-sided Coin
      • The Patience, Judgment and Praise of God
      • Center of All Things
    • Romans 8 >
      • No Condemnation in Christ
      • Our Present Suffering
      • The Groaning and Glory
      • The Spirit's Intercession
      • The Golden Chain
      • Salvation’s Eternal Gobstobber
    • Paul's Application of Justification by Faith >
      • Total Makeover - Romans 12.1-2
      • What About Me? - Romans 12.3-8
      • Authority & Submission - Romans 13.1-7
      • True Love - Romans 12.9-21
      • Love's Demands Romans 13.8-14
      • Unity: Not Judgmental - Romans 14.1-14
      • Unity in Hope - Romans 15.1-13
      • Travel Plans - Romans 15.14-29
      • An appeal for Prayer - Romans 15.30-33
      • Final Greetings - Romans 16.1-14
      • A Last Word About Last Words - Romans 16.25-27
      • Another Word About Last Words - Romans 16.25-27
    • Christ Formed in You >
      • Labor Pains
      • Marks of a Disciple
    • Jesus Post Resurrection Narratives >
      • Words From the Cross
      • The Resurrection
      • The Ascension of Christ
      • The Exaltation of Christ
      • The Session of Christ
      • The Reign of Christ
      • Jesus as High Priest
      • Jesus as Judge
    • Second Thoughts >
      • After Christmas
      • Thoughts on the Covenant
      • Infant Baptism
      • Job and a Dangerous God
      • The Ultimate Question
      • Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing
      • God's Eternal Decree & Secondary Causality
      • God's Providence & Evil
      • The Anguish of Child Birth
      • Truth: That Elusive Fellow
      • Spilled Water
      • Stretch Out Your Hand
      • A Brief of the Olivet Discourse
    • Thoughts on Isaiah >
      • A Love Song Isaiah 5
      • Firm in Faith: Isaiah 7.1 - 8.8
      • The Salvation of an Incomparable God
      • Two Cities: God's Supremacy
      • Looking Toward the Rising Sun
    • Thoughts on Prayer >
      • The Glory of God in Prayer
      • Disciples' Prayer
      • Prayer & the Righteous Person
      • A Sufficient Grace
      • Providence & Prayer
      • Prayer & the Session of Christ
      • The Struggle of Prayer
      • "Failure" in Prayer
      • The Silence of God
      • Prayer & the Will of God
    • Psalms >
      • Psalm 1 & 2 - Introducing the Psalms
      • Psalm 139 - Wings of the Morning
      • Psalm 90 - A Complaint
      • Psalm 91.1-13: The Wings of Refuge
      • Psalm 91.14-16 - God Speaks: A Salvation Oracle
      • Psalm 91 - God's Salvation
      • Psalm 92 - A Sabbath Psalm of Worship
      • Psalm 100 Steadfast Love
  • Books
    • Apologetics / Evangelism
    • Modernity & Post Modernism
    • Prayer
    • Basic in Christian Theology
    • Eclectic Reading
  • Conversations with Charlie
  • Compline
  • Photos
  • LOL
    • Bible / Theology / Church >
      • Why Can't I Own Canadians?
      • How Hot is Hell?
      • Theologians & Stop Signs
      • Butt Prints in the Sand
      • Bulletin Bloopers
      • Driving the Car & Haircuts
    • Deep Thoughts
    • Moose Hunting
    • Evolution of Math
    • Lexophiles
    • Musical Humor
    • O' The Married Life
    • Humor for Supercilious Condescending Pedagogues
    • Marriage from a Kid’s Point of View
  • Links
    • Carrie Marshall
    • Linda Moore
    • Gary's FCCW Sermon Videos
Lexophiles
"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for the use of words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish," or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. The winning submission is posted at the very end.

.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
.. The batteries were given out free of charge.
.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
.. A will is a dead giveaway.
.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
.. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
.. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
.. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? - He's all right now.
.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
.. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
.. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the twisted crop:

.. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.